Tony Beshara

This quote by hiring authority is usually followed by a statement like “… It really doesn’t matter what they think or what they say about you, we just like to get their opinion since you’d be working with them”..DON’T BELIEVE THIS LIE!…

The team is usually a group of five or six people who are peers to the person being hired… the  manager read some management book somewhere and came up with the idea of  “wouldn’t it be nice if all of the people in the group talked to the candidate to see if they might all get along”… there is no proof that this kind of step in the interviewing process helps hire a better candidate…in fact,  it usually has more of a negative impact than a positive one… the idea is that everybody will get a chance to meet the candidate…kumbya!

What really happens is, if the “team” or some member of the team doesn’t like the candidate or, more importantly, is threatened by the candidate, they won’t outright say they wouldn’t hire the candidate or they don’t like him or her, they’ll say things like  “well, I’m not sure they’ll fit in”… or… “I don’t really know…” or something pejorative like that… the truth is that these people do have something to say about who gets hired… no matter what any hiring authority says, they are going to listen to the input of the “team’…

The truth is, that this whole exercise is a waste of time at best and detrimental at worst.  A month or so ago, I had a candidate with a stellar background and 15 years of experience… he went to the “team” meeting/interview and some 22-year-old kid who had only been with the company six months… the same amount of time he had been out of college. He asked my candidate, in front of five other people “what motivates you?”… my candidate simply looked at the kid and after a long pause, clearly expressing his being relatively insulted, said something like, “my family”… needless to say the candidate was not impressed with the interviewing process and refused to go back to the company even though they thought he was a great candidate…Interestingly, the hiring authority was so upset with the result, he decided to quit organizing the “team” meeting step in the interviewing process…amen!

If you, as a candidate, are faced with this insanity, you can’t call it that… you’d best realize that these people do have something to say about you getting hired and you better play it cool… do not take the meeting for granted… realize that it is a real interview…

Most of the time these “interviews” become more conversational with the candidate and in that conversation the most important thing you can do is to ask the ‘team,’  both as a group and individually, about themselves…about what they like about the company, why they work there, etc… Engage with them as much as possible and get them to talk about their favorite subject… themselves…

What you’re really trying to do here is to at least “neutralize” their opinions and maybe get them to wildly support you… obviously I don’t think highly of these encounters but what I think doesn’t mean a fig  to hiring authorities… there are lots of things that I think are absurd in the interview and hiring process.  But, what I think, doesn’t matter…

Be prepared to “meet the team”… remember, it is an interview… treat it seriously

I knew Jim for about 15 years… he had been a candidate on and off over the years.. he had an absolutely stellar career with a major software vendor. …in the upper 1% or 2% of the sales organization and even reached the first level of  management …there were years where he earned as much is $500,000  and was recognized as one of the BEST…

About two years ago he lost his job and was out of work for a year… It just seemed that he could never get it together… He really wasn’t trying to find a job very hard because he would drop out of sight for a few months at a time… After a long period of unemployment, he called and said that he’d gotten his life back together and was ready to go to work… He did tell me that he had lost his wife and his family to divorce; but  he was back on his feet again and ready to do whatever he had to do..

I checked with a couple of people to validated that he was back on his feet , then I began the search to find him a job… In fact, I did find him employment: however he was on the job for little better than a week and my clients found out that he did not have a valid drivers license so they let him go… he had too many DWI’s and his life was a mess…that was about 10 months ago and I kind of lost track of him…

Then just the other day, one of our mutual friends called to tell me that Jim had overdosed on crack cocaine and was dead… he died in some flophouse…

Jim was in his late 50’s… had a good career… I’m always amazed and befuddled as to how these kinds of things happen… I have dealt with lots of people since 1973 and I never quite understand what happens when people go off in this direction…. Is it a wrong turn that they made in their life… Is it some kind of chemical imbalance that all of a sudden takes control… Is it mental, emotional or physical…

This kind of thing isn’t only sad… it makes you stop and just wonder… we get so wrapped up in the day-to-day issues of making a living, finding a job or raising our children or going about our lives and this kind of thing is shocking…

So, if  you read this because you need a job or know someone who does, put things in perspective…pray for Jim’s soul…pray for the thousands who must be tortured this way…PRAY… But by the grace of God go all of us…

this is my metaphor for what people do… or should I say, don’t do… in their job search…

Instead of keeping constantly active in making calls, making presentations of themselves, getting interviews, going on as many interviews as they possibly can and doing follow-up interviews, etc., they “nurse a rock”.

Examples of  “nursing a rock”  are things like getting an interview for a few days in the future and then doing nothing at all until the interview…or having a number of interviews with one firm and waiting, hoping and wishing for an offer…instead of taking more massive action by getting other interviews…

Job seekers spend an enormous amount of emotional energy as well as time “nursing rocks“… waiting, hoping, and wishing about things and events that they can do nothing about it… don’t fall prey to this… I know it’s easier to wish and hope and pray than it is to take massive action, to pick up the phone and try to get a new interview or follow up on the resume you sent or call back on an opportunity that you interviewed  for…

You really can’t “nurse a rock”… it leads to frustration and disappointment… if you spend your time taking actions you can control, and stop wasting time and emotion on things out of your control you actually create so many opportunities for a job offer you are not dependent on any one or two opportunities

I heard a great sermon on forgiveness…how important it is spiritually, psychologically, even physically…every major faith teaches forgiveness because it doesn’t come naturally or easily…

Once you get the hang of it..and it may not be easy to practice, it is amazing how much better you feel about yourself..not just the other person ..but yourself…

How does this effect your job search??..Well, if you are like most job seekers, you have been lied to…and told you were going to be hired…interviewed…and gotten back to…encouraged, etc. only to be left with no answers…silence…no communication..

You sent your resume to a job posting you are ‘PERFECT’ for…one of your friends said he or she would get you an “Interview” with their company and they don’t… one of your old bosses interviewed you and says he’d like to hire you, but doesn’t… you get the idea…

The human tendency is to get mad and angry at the folks who communicated this..you were hurt, already psychologically down and then you are lied to…

I know it is hard…but you’ve got to FORGIVE…the sooner you forgive all of this stuff, the faster you can move forward effectively with a clear focus on the future …focusing on the things you need to do to get hired without the emotional drain of resentment and anger…

So, practice…right now, write down all the people who have hurt you recently…now, forgive them…then let it go…forgive and let it go…forgive and let it go..

You will feel better and be more focused on what needs to be done..

Love is patient… patient with the people who tell you they’re going to call you back and then never do… patient with the people who tell you you’re a perfect candidate and you never hear from him again… patient with yourself for all your human frailties…Love is kind… Even when you don’t want to be… even when you’re frustrated, mad and angry…And it is not jealous… Of those who get a lot of interviews… of those who tell you they just got hired or those who may not be as good as you, but get hired…Love does not brag…About the fantastic interview you got or a really great job offer…And is not arrogant… We are as graceful when we get a great interview or get a great job as we are when we “strikeout” every job search technique we try…Love does not act unbecomingly… We are nice to people even when they are not nice to us… we pray for those who won’t interview us or won’t hire us…It does not seek its own… It’s knowing that if we put the hiring authority’s  needs first we will get what we want…It is not provoked… No matter how poorly you are treated or frustrated you become you never lose your cool, remembering that you can only control your own feelings and thoughts…Love does not take into account a wrong suffered… When you were lied to… when you are strung out to then be rejected… treated rudely…Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness… Life is unfair… and it affects everybody… get over it…But rejoices in truth… The truth that you are a good employee and that if you keep working hard enough you will be successful at finding a job…Love bears all things … the phenomenal ups and downs of a difficult job search…Believes all things… You know you will be successful…Hopes all things… Grateful for every opportunity you have to find a new job…Love never fails…It never, ever fails…

With apologies to St. Paul…

we hear that least three or four times a day…” I can do that job … just get me in front of them ” or  ” I can’t believe you don’t get me that interview, you and I both know  I can do the job… ” or ” you know I’ve been an excellent performer and I am an excellent employee, if you just get me in front of them, I’ll get the job… ”

Most job seekers simply don’t have realized that hiring authorities are looking to hire people with experience in exactly what they do … with a documentable, provable track record … and there are so many qualified candidates available to  hiring authorities, that  they don’t have to hire even the ” best athlete “…they have available to them at a phenomenal number, a wealth of well qualified candidates who can prove they have experience in what the employer is looking to do

There’s a big difference between being able to do the job and being able to get the job… they’re almost two different issues… most job  seekers need to be aware that in today’s job market, with employers still operating under doubt, uncertainty and fear,  they’re going to hire a candidate with as much experience and background as they can find… they aren’t willing to take any risks

Job seekers have  no idea how stiff their competition is … they look at a job posting and think, “well certainly I can do the job… ” and maybe they can … but it’s not likely they’ll get the chance simply because there are other  candidates available with documentable  and verifiable experience in what the hiring authority is looking to do…

So, the next time you see a job posting and you think, ” I know I can do that job” realized that a hring authority is looking for somebody with as much exact experience in what they do as they can get and in this market, they can find it … and, yes, even when your experience fits exactly what the hiring authority is looking for, you’re competing with at least five others that have the same kind of background and track record

we hear this statement at least once a week in our company..and it usually comes from a candidate who gets an offer much lower than they had expected..

this statement came, this week, from a guy who has been out of work for four months…he has only had two interviews in that time and, frankly, he was quite fortunate to get the offer..

he is ‘thinking about it’ over the weekend..but, are you kidding me..he is totally off base to say something so inane…he is lucky to have received an offer, let alone a good one..but he is hung up on what he use to make…

who ever got the idea that the longer they work the more they are gonna make?..the last three or four years has proven to all of us that there is no ‘normal’…there are very few absolutes and this market is unpredictable…what was, isn’t…what you use to earn has nothing to do with what your might earn today…

the most important issue is finding a good job in this market…especially if you are out of work for any length of time…remember money and title are effected by performance…focus on the job and the opportunity..don’t sell yourself short, but likewise, judge the job by today’s market…yesterday’s money is just that

i don’t want to use this example as a universal ‘always and forever’…but it is sure indicative of why lots of people can’t find work..here is what happened.

i run an advertisement on CareerBuilder every day…it is an ad for a placement manager…a recruiter here in our company..at the end of the ad it says CALL ME…DO NOT SEND A RESUME…CALL ME…

i do this for a number of reasons..first, i want too see if people have the courage to pick up the phone and CALL ME…we are in the kind of business that requires tons of phone calls…so people have to ‘smile and dial’..it they can’t pick up the phone, they can’t make a living here..it is that simple..

the second reason is that i want to see if people follow instructions…simple enough

here is the issue..in the last three weeks 322 people have sent me a resume..only ONE person has called me…ONE…i don’t even look at the resumes of people who send them…first, they obviously aren’t aggressive enough and two, they don’t pay attention…

people are so use to simply hitting that ‘send’ button and think that they are ‘looking for a job’….they then complain that no one wants to interview them..no wonder…

PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL A HIRING MANAGER…too many people are simply sending resumes and expecting interviews…every job posting gets an average of 118 resumes….and some think they are going to get an interview that way…if you want an interview, find who the hiring manager is and CALL  him or her,  present yourself and ask for an interview…

this is why so many people can’t find work…

So you’re asking yourself “what does humility have  to do with a job search?… Well it has plenty to do with the job search..it is accepting things in a non-proudful manner… humility keeps your ego from getting ahead of your game… not letting your ego be hurt by the rejection and refusal you’ll experience.

I often get asked… or should I say, challenged… that my recommended approach to interviewing… that is selling yourself really hard… is rather egotistical and downright bodacious… there is a big preference between presenting your skills and your abilities in a humble manner than in an egotistical, in-your-face, “I’m the best you’ve ever seen” manner.

Interviewing correctly…  selling your skills and your abilities in a balanced manner,  takes practice… on the one hand, you want to sell yourself forcefully but on the other hand you don’t want to come across as egotistical or too proud… outstanding skills and attributes can be presented actually with humility…. it is a fine art.

Another application of humility is the acceptance of a large number of  rejections and refusals you will experience… this is one of the hardest parts of the job search process… never hearing from prospective employers when they tell you they are going to be back in touch with you, being ignored and even being treated rudely are things that most job candidates have a hard time getting used to… and that’s where you can apply humility.

Your humble reaction to this kind treatment makes a big difference… if you take things personally and spend time ruminating over how you were treated etc.,  you will expend a phenomenal amount of emotional energy that does you absolutely no good at all… if you accept these kinds of treatment with humility, you are left with more energy to be focused on getting more interviews and selling yourself really well… humility frees up emotional energy to be directed in the right way.

Michael had been on six interviews with one company… just like we talked about last time, a company that was full of doubt and uncertainty and fear… he gets down to the last interview with the hiring authority’s boss who is the last step… the hiring authority did a good job coaching Michael about what his boss was going to be looking for… in fact, he “overcoached” just a bit… he gave Michael so many “watch out for this”  that Michael, who up until this point  had been stellar, poised and confident… all of a sudden became a little nervous.

When he interviewed with the hiring authority’s boss, he was so self-conscious about getting everything in the conversation he thought he needed to that when he was asked a question he went on and on and on and on… it was like the guy who, when asked what time it was, told the time, how the watch was made and what places in Switzerland would be good to visit.

The result was that Michael didn’t let the interviewing authority get much of a word in edgewise… it so happens that the hiring authority’s boss was also a big talker and he wanted to do most of the talking… guys like that get frustrated when they can’t talk and somebody else goes on and on and on.

Michael was an excellent candidate and so the hiring authority’s boss didn’t want to totally eliminate him, but wasn’t very happy, so he instructed Michael to do a few more due diligence type things and therefore extended the interviewing process longer… at that point Michael called was just a bit irritated because the interviewing process had already gone way longer than anybody thought it would… but here is the beauty of what Michael did.

When the hiring authority told Michael that he really didn’t listen to his boss  like he should, that he ran off at the mouth and that he really didn’t give his boss a chance to have a give and take conversation, instead of getting pissed and justifying what he did… which most candidates would do… Michael said “you know, I was trying so hard to do it right… I was trying so hard to answer every question with everything I knew…I ran off at the mouth… I’m really sorry… if  I had it to do again I would’ve done it differently”.

As I say, most candidates would’ve gotten all pissed off and justified what they did… Michael however, acknowledged his mistake, asked for forgiveness and moved on to the next subject… brilliant!!!

The hiring authority even commented about how gracefully Michael accepted the criticism… it’s really easy to get defensive in situations like this… Michael showed his professionalism by accepting responsibility for what he did, apologizing and asking for forgiveness… brilliant!!!