Tony Beshara

Always ask for more money than you want … Why would you do that? Speak about the money you want in relation to what the job is worth… if what you want is more than you can get or more than what the job is worth… and you really need to go to work as soon as possible, and possibly accept any reasonable offer… the idea that an employer is always going to offer you less than what you’re asking is stupid…

Do yourself a favor and get rid of that word “always” to any of these topics

When interviewing, mirror the interviewing authority… Mirroring is reflecting the same body language the person you are speaking with has… for instance, if the person leans back in their chair, crosses their leg or crosses their arms, you would do the same thing… if they sit with their feet planted firmly on the floor, their hands on the arms of the chair, slightly leaning forward, you do the same…now this has some merit… but you only want to “mirror” the interviewing authority to the point that you get them to empathize and understand you .. the major purpose of mirroring however is to, after a few moments of mirroring, you “lead” with them into mirroring you so that they can better identify and empathize with your feelings… and literally, “see the world” through your eyes…If done correctly you will “lead” them to cross their arms, cross their legs, sit back in their chair, etc. following you doing the same thing…

When you go into the interview… keep breathing (… seriously, that is exactly what an interview counselor recommended)… What’s so nuts about this advice was that it wasn’t given in any kind of context… the authority who recommend it, simply said, “when you go into the interviewing authority’s office…breath..” and then the speaker moved on to another topic… it just kind of sat there all by itself… Who could disagree with this advice? … But to give it as though it was some kind of revelation was hilarious…

Employers always have room to negotiate. That’s just not true! Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. Hiring authorities don’t “always” have anything. So the question to ask in the middle of an offer opportunity, is “is there any room to negotiate.. salary, benefits, etc.?”

Employers always start to offer you a job at the lowest money they can get away with. Again, absolutes like this are totally unfounded. These kind of ideas communicate an adversarial relationship between the candidate and the employer. Maybe, some organizations do this, but it is very rare. Most companies and hiring authorities are interested in being as fair as they can be in compensation. Most of them are well aware that you get what you pay for.

Never take responsibility for your reason for saying “no.” Blame someone else you have consulted. OMG! Where did this come from? Well, I kind of know. It comes from the negotiation technique of, “I would like to take your offer myself, but my boss, higher up’s, etc. just won’t let me do it.” You know, the “good cop… bad cop” routine. Whoever came up with this idea and applied it to the job search… and I listened to two videos that recommended this as well as reading it in an “advice” article… it’s NUTS! What are you going to say in a job offer negotiation, “well, I’d like to do it, but my spouse just doesn’t think I should” or “I would like to take the job at that money, but my spouse (… mother, father, brother, adviser, guru) thinks that I should hold out for more money..”

It goes without saying that this is one of the dumbest pieces of advice I’ve ever heard regarding any job offer negotiation. Don’t do it!

Never accept the first offer…what’s with this?…who ever said the first offer wasn’t a good offer?…some of the firms that I work with  are only going to make one offer and the candidate can either take it or leave it… Now if you want to ask something like “is that the very best you can do?” I can live with that, but in most instances, if you operate with the principal that you’re not going to take the first offer, you are playing games… on top of that, it’s stupid

He who brings up money first loses… I don’t know the idiot who  dreamed this up, But if you follow this advice you’re a fool… (obviously, I feel fairly strongly about this… and all the other stuff too) … the discussion of money is like any other issue in the interviewing process… If you are asked, for instance, “what are you earning?” What are you going to say, “I really don’t want to discuss money?”… Right!… Stupid advice !… don’t buy it.

Everything is negotiable… We had a brand-new MBA graduate get to the offer stage from the company… they  asked him what kind of compensation he had in mind. The candidate responded that he would like a salary of $150,000, a generous 401(k) plan, a car and four weeks vacation in its first year as well as a salary review in six months.” The hiring authority responded by saying, “how about $250,000 salary and an expense account,  a brand-new Mercedes and a salary view in three months?”  The excited candidate, with wide eyes, looked at the hiring authority and said, “are you kidding?” To which the hiring authorities said, “yeah, but you started it.”..

Okay, it’s a joke…but everything is NOT negotiable… in fact there are a very few things in the job offer that are negotiable… maybe money, once in a very long while, title, some benefits and, again, once in a while a few other things… but for goodness sake don’t believe this adage… it’s foolish… you can simply ask the hiring authority what might be negotiable… but please, don’t go in to a job offer situation thinking “everything is negotiable” you will be sorely disappointed and won’t get to first base… As well as stupid

We had a candidate sometime back who, upon getting an offer, even said to the hiring authority “well everything is negotiable, can we begin with the salary”… the hiring authority stood up and said, “it doesn’t appear that you have any common sense, I don’t think are going to proceed beyond here. Thanks for coming by.”

Candidates are trying to get the most money they can…Well, to a certain extent candidates are trying to do the best they can for themselves… but the way this is stated by most of the people that talk about it, communicates that candidates are creating an adversarial relationship with the employer, communicating the idea that the employer is trying to pay the least he can get away with to begin with,  isn’t  good and really isn’t going to get you the best offer.

Candidates should do the best they can to get a good compensation package, but it shouldn’t be the most important thing that the candidate should think about… money is simply part of the whole opportunity… as I have stated many times before,  if you give a company good enough reason to why they ought to hire you,  they will give you good enough reasons why your good work there is money… but I guarantee you if you approach the money negotiations with the idea that the company is trying to be as cheap as they can,  it won’t go well…

When given an offer, tell the employer that you would like to think about it a couple of days…WRONG!… while you are “thinking about it” any employer with any sense is hiring the candidate right behind you… “thinking about it a couple of days” communicates a very indecisive, not committed, wishy-washy attitude… you have to be more decisive than this

My recommendation is that you decide and let the hiring authorities know within 24 hours… that is decisive…

Now, if you’re trying to get an offer and you’re waiting for another one to compare it to… very fortunate position to be in… you run the risk of losing the offer to someone else so, decide what you’re going to do it quickly and decisively

As promised, over the next few weeks I’m going to take each one of these idiocies that I wrote about last and explain why they are absolutely foolish…

When you are asked how much money you are making, counter that question with a question by asking “well, how much does this position pay?”… This is crazy… any employer with any brains at all is going to look at you like you’re crazy if you answer their question this way… the idea of answering a question with a question is poor judgement.. no employer in their right mind is going to respond to this positively… if you say something stupid like this and you are fortunate enough to not be thrown out of the interview, the interviewing or hiring authority is going to say “I asked you what you are presently making”… in other words, he or she wants to know what you’re making..TELL THEM… it’s really that simple… trying to be coy or cute will lead to disaster… so when asked this simple question give a simple answer… tell them what you are presently making and/or what you made in your last job… end of discussion!

When asked about how much money you are making, give a range of the money you’ve made over the last few years…The same fool who wrote the first bit of advice, probably came up with this dumb answer too… again, if you’re fortunate enough to still be in the interview without being thrown out, the interviewing or hiring authority is going to say, “aaah, I didn’t ask you the range of what you’ve been earning, I asked you to tell me exactly what you’ve been earning”

Any kind of answer to the above two questions that is not an exact, specific number is going to communicate that you don’t want to tell the interviewing her hiring authority what you are. making…that you are trying to hide your previous either poor or low pay.. I assure you that any gamesmanship like this will NOT get you hired…

Have three numbers in mind regarding the salary you will be willing to accept… a high salary, a median salary and the lowest salary you would consider…. What’s the reason for this idea? It has absolutely nothing to do with the kind of offer that you may or may not get… as if your coming up with these figures means anything to the interviewing or hiring authority… I can’t even figure out the reason anybody would give this advice… here’s the deal, the better you sell yourself the better the offer you are going to get..Don’t even consider anything like this until you actually get an offer, then you’ve got something to think about… this advice is a waste of time

Employers want to pay as little as they can get away with… that’s just not true… I’ve spoken to more than 23,000 hiring authorities in my career… finding out what they want to hire the candidate… sending them candidates… negotiating… and getting people hired… every once in a while I do run into a hiring authority that seems to be more concerned about paying as little as they can… they are more interested in the money then they are the people… but there are really very few of these kinds of folks… most people who do the hiring realize that they are going to get about what they pay for… they know that money is relative to the quality of candidate they may get… I don’t think that I’ve ever heard an employer tell me, “we’re cheap, we want to pay as little as we can to get as much as we can”…If you enter a job offer negotiation or even an interview with this adversarial attitude, you’re not gonna go very far

Over the last few weeks I’ve listened to or read over 100 video or audio recordings and articles about looking for a job, interviewing and negotiating a job offer… at least 35% to 40% of the stuff is absolute junk… in fact, it so bad that if people take the advice they will look for a job for the rest of their life and never find one… the vast, vast majority of this stuff is written by career advisers and counselors, psychologists, retired executives, gurus, and self-appointed authorities about finding a job or managing your career… I have no idea where people come up with these cockamamie ideas but here are a few of them…

I will enumerate them here and over the next week or so explaining how absolutely downright hideous or stupid they are… one thing is for sure, these people never really found anybody a job… since we have free speech in this country, they are entitled to tell you this stuff… but you don’t have to believe it… and you shouldn’t…here they are:

When you are asked how much money you are making, counter that question with a question by asking “well, how much does this position pay?”

When asked about how much money you are making, give a range of the money you’ve made over the last few years.

Have three numbers in mind regarding the salary you will be willing to accept… a high salary, a median salary and the lowest salary you would consider.

Employers want to pay as little as they can get away with

Candidates always want the most money they can get

When given an offer, tell people you’d like to go home and think about it for a couple of days

Never accept the first offer

He who brings up money first loses

Everything is negotiable

Employers always have room to negotiate

Employers always start to offer you a job at the lowest money they can get away with

Never take responsibility for saying “no”… blame your reason for saying no on  someone else you have consulted

Always ask for more money than you want

When interviewing, mirror the interviewing authority

When you go into the interview… keep breathing (… seriously, that is exactly what an interview counselor recommended)

Tell the interviewing authority that you need more money because… and then state the reason why you need more money

When negotiating a salary always wince at the first offer

In an interview, don’t tell people you are looking for a job…but simply exchanging information to see if  there is mutual interest either now or in the future.

Remember, when it comes time for them to make an offer, they really, really want you and so you’re in the driver’s seat

Target the top 10 companies you would like to go to work for and focus everything you can to get an interview with them

Beginning next week  I will discuss these insane statements in detail…

I heard Wayne Dyer speak, asking people, “what do you think about the last five minutes of your day?” It is a really good question… in that mental and emotional state between being awake and asleep… what do people think about…my bet is that most of us usually think of the negative things and the difficult things that happen to us during the day… now I’m no psychologist, but I’ve worked with people for more than 40 years in a very challenging part of their lives, that of looking for a job… and any negative seeds must influence the subconscious during sleep…and that doesn’t help you

This can be especially disastrous if you’re looking for a job, full-time and possibly, looking for a very long time… it can be downright depressing… so try this, as you drift off to sleep think about how fortunate you are… think about all your blessings… release any criticism, condemnation and judgement…think about the challenge of looking for a job as a test of your spirit… your will… your courage… your persistence… sheer determination… think about how lucky you are to be able to live to challenge another day… have faith… pray… trust that God does not send you any challenge  that you can’t meet … be grateful… sow the seeds of peace in your subconscious …

Oh, my… you can’t believe this, you talked to everyone possible, including the janitor…six or seven interviews… took all kinds of personality tests….rubbed your belly, patted your head and sang the Star-Spangled Banner at the same time… And now you are told they’re not going to hire anybody…

You are frustrated, disappointed, and mad as hell!… These guys told you all along you were the person for the job, and now this… it just doesn’t make sense.

Most candidates are mad when this kind of thing happens…they really don’t understand what might be going on…

Hiring someone… no matter what level… is a highly political event… and the higher level the position, the more political it is… They’re all kinds of things going on “behind the scenes” of hiring somebody the candidate may never know… political infighting, one group versus another group, one decision-maker versus another decision-maker… one group or individual really loves you thinks you’d do a great job and another group or individual will nix your candidacy to get even, flex their power or just show others that have the power to do it…budgets get cut, headcount gets allocated to another department or postponed because of a poor quarter… company restructuring, etc…. There’s simply no way of knowing all the reasons and, amazingly enough, you may not even get a straight answer even when you ask..

In spite of your anger and frustration, cool your jets and don’t write the deal off just yet… 99 out of 100 times when this happens, it is not personally directed at you… the decision really doesn’t have anything to do with you and there is an much you can do to effect it… again, be cool and be graceful…

Don’t let your anger show…  something like, “I am disappointed,  I understand these things happen. Is there a chance that if this issue is resolved you might consider me down the line?” Now, there is  part of you that is saying, “Tony, are you nuts! Who would want to go work for an organization like this?” And to that I say, “Cut it out! you know as well as I do that decisions like this can change or be postponed for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with you. Even excellent organizations have glitches like this.”

Keep the door open. If the opportunity resurrects itself in the near future it may be good for you to consider it.  into account all factors surrounding the job, but my experience since 1973 tells me that, most of the time, this kind of  glitch has really nothing  to do with the quality of the job or the opportunity. You may think it does, but most of the time it doesn’t. Now, you may not end up accepting an offer for this kind of job if it comes back around, but at least give yourself the advantage of having the “right of first refusal.”

I can’t tell you the number of very, very happy candidates who I placed over the years where the opportunity with the company went away at the last moment and, because they kept their composure, ended up getting the job… even as long as a year later… most are  having a stellar career with the firm…

Every year about this time I and my associates start hearing from candidates that since it’s the holidays,  nobody is hiring…DON’T BUY IT!… I will admit that since Christmas and New Year’s fall way they do, it seems like two weeks are totally wasted.

But don’t believe for an instant that companies aren’t hiring… when they need somebody, they need somebody… employers will often use the excuse of “holidays” as to why they’re not hiring, but the truth is those are the ones who aren’t hiring anyhow…it is true that people are going to take time off in the last two weeks of this month… but many, many, many managers are working and they are going to interview and hire… so,FIND them…

I know, if you’re looking for a job, it’s easier to avoid emotional rejection of having trouble finding a job by taking a “break” during the holiday… please, please, don’t do that… smart candidates are even more intense about getting interviews because they know other people are using the holiday as an excuse not to compete with them… good for them!

Lots of companies hire people in December to start work in your new physical year beginning in January… many of these people postpone hiring to the very last minute and they are now under the gun and have to hire quickly… I talked to a client of ours today who reminded me that he was supposed to hire someone in the first week of November and through all kinds of crazy events like him going on vacation and two of his primary candidates taking other jobs, he is still looking… and he is a little more intent than he had been before because if he doesn’t hire someone to start the first of the year, he is going to lose his head count… there lots of companies out there that are in that situation…

So don’t take your foot off the pedal just because it’s “the holidays”… there is hiring going on… be a part of it!

Our candidate seemed to be a reasonable guy… according to his resume he’d been pretty successful in the places that he had worked… we had recruited him on the suggestion from a guy who used to work with him…

During our face-to-face interview with him,  he started bringing up the names of many of the people he said he knew in his profession… some of these folks he was mentioning where two or three levels above him and two or three were CEOs and senior vice presidents of the fairly large companies he had worked for…

At first, his mannerism was a little curious, but the longer he talked the more he kept mentioning names of these people as though they were his neighbors, drinking buddies and best of friends… to make matters worse, every time he mentioned one of these  people that certainly everyone was supposed to know he did it with a little sly grin on his face followed by a pause in his speech that made you feel he was in the least ingenuous and at the most a liar… it got really old.

We got him the interview with one of our clients and, even after warning him about his name dropping tendency, he did the same thing with the client…

Other than his penchant for name dropping, he interviewed well and has the skills and experience our client is looking for… our client requested that we check his references… the very first reference that we checked was  one of the candidate’s previous managers…

The conversation began in a bit of awkward way… the manager seemed cold and distant and even though he agreed to offer a reference for the candidate, he never seemed engaged or friendly… in fact he was rather antiseptic… he did say that the candidate had done a good job for them, had gotten good reviews and had even been promoted a couple of times… but there was still something there in the conversation that just wasn’t smooth…

After about 15 minutes of this less than warm conversation, I asked the previous manager if there were any personal habits that the candidate had that he wished were different… there was a really, really long pause… I even asked him if he was still on the line and he said “yes”… there was still silence…

I finally broke the silence by saying, “you know this guy seems like a quality guy… his track record seems to be good but he seems to have this annoying habit, that both I and our client picked up on, of dropping names. It’s as though he is neighbors with or friends with some pretty significant folks. Is that the case?”

The manager on the other end of the phone breathed a sigh of relief… he said, “that’s really a problem with him. He acts like he’s bosom buddies with all of those folks and he isn’t. He does good work, but when people find out that he really doesn’t know all of those people that he says he knows, they lose respect for him to the point where they shun him and don’t even want to be around him. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just full of bull crap. Like, he says that one time he had dinner with Pres. George Bush, as though they were personal friends. Turns out that he attended the dinner where George Bush spoke along with 1000 other people who contributed to his campaign. It is just so stupid, but he keeps doing it. So, if your client can live with that kind of thing, your candidate may make a good employee.”

Of course, we reported this conversation to our client… he hasn’t decided whether he’ll hire the candidate or not but his enthusiasm for the candidate has certainly been dampened… my sense is that our client will pursue two of our other candidates… the sad lesson here is that there is just no reason for anybody to name drop like this… it has probably cost this candidate a really good job and it just wasn’t necessary…

People who are interviewing any candidate will make decisions about them based on all kinds of, seemingly, insignificant things…Name dropping is one of them